I have been leading a bible study on Tuesday mornings that focuses on the women in the New and Old Testament. We did Eve two weeks ago and I cannot stop thinking about her. I think its because of a revelation I had about our curses as women and men. After Adam and Eve sinned, God banished them from the garden, but he also proclaimed curses over both of them - Genesis 3. The curse on Eve was two-fold. One, now bearing children is incredibly difficult and extremely painful. If you have had kids, you know this to be true. Two, now a woman's 'desire' will be for her husbands but he will rule over her. I put the word 'desire' in quotes because it does not mean what we think of when we think desire. It is not about love or sex or even just wanting someone or something. The literal translation means 'to tear down and usurp control.' In Genesis 4 God says to Cain, 'Sin is crouching at your door and its desire is for you.' Same word and same meaning! What do you think sin wanted to do to Cain? It wanted to destroy him!! What that means for us women is that now, our natural tendency toward men and toward our husbands, if we are married, is going to be to tear them down, take control, and maybe even ruin them. The man's curse is that he is going to rule over us. Meaning he will do everything in his power to make sure we have no power. But let me be clear, this is a CURSE, this is NOT what God wants for us. I think the New Testament makes it clear that this is not what God intended and He wants to redeem it and restore men and women to right relationship.
In several places, the New Testament teaches that women are to submit to their husbands. In Ephesians, it clearly says we are to submit one to another, and women in particular to their husbands, while men are called to love their wives and lay down their life for them. The directive here has often caused a power play in the church and in marriage in general. Many people think this clearly means that the man is in charge and the women are doormats. However, the word submit means, 'to get underneath and lift up.' That is what all believers are called to do, and women in particular. Why does he single out submission for the women? Because Paul knows what happened in Genesis 3, he knows our curse and what we are up against. What Paul is really calling us to do when he calls us to submit, is fight our curse. Woman's curse is she wants to tear down and usurp, while her call, as a follower of Christ, is to get underneath and lift up!!!! Wow! Paul is not telling us who is in charge, he is telling us to fight our curse!!!! Lest you think the men are left out, Paul calls them to love and lay down their lives for their wives, while their curse is they want to rule over them. Both of us are called AWAY from the curse, toward wholeness and restoration, which was God's original design.
This put a whole new spin on what I see when I read verses on submission. Now, I do not read 'Erica, your husband is the boss, so make sure you submit to him.' I read, 'Erica, your natural tendency is going to be to tear down your husband and try to control everything, and you have to fight that.' So "Submit" becomes "FIGHT" but not fighting against one another, fighting for one another. I have energy for that. I actually want to do it. I am not good at it, but with this new understanding I get more how I am wired, but also what I am called to do. And this directive is true whether you are married or single, we are to fight for one another, not against one another. That is why Paul says to submit one to another before he singles out the married couples. So next time you read any of the verses on submission, like Ephesians 5, instead of reading 'wives, submit to your husbands,' you might read, 'ladies, fight your curse and your need to usurp.' And men instead of reading 'husbands, love your wives and lay down your life for her,' you might read, 'men, fight your curse and your need to rule her.' And maybe you will see, like I did, that this is a whole new ball game, a whole new fight, and it's one you might actually have the energy for. One you might actually want to do.
